If You Prick Me, Do I Not Squeak?

So I've decided to try my paw at acting. I know, exciting, isn't it? This past Sunday's Arts and Entertainment section stated that there are open tryouts for Merchant of Venice. My heart tells me I'd be an awesome Shylock. Ideally, I'd try out for Romeo, but he didn't make it into that play. Must have been the poison he took in that other play.

Now there are a few different ways to get into the roll. I asked TaTa which he preferred, and he was a big fan of method acting. He told me that's what Dustin Hoffman did in Marathon Man. On the other hand, Lawrence Olivier (Larry to his friends) poo-pooed this method and said, "That's why they call it acting, my good man." Yeah, he cracks me up a lot too. You should catch his 1972 interview on The Dick Cavett Show. Classic.

Anyway, now I just need a way to get to the auditions. TaTa offered to give me a lift, but there's no river or fjord on the way. For my monologue I'm torn between Willy Loman's beautiful yet heartbreaking soliloquy before killing himself in Death of a Salesman or singing the theme song from Pound Puppies. Admit it, that was one cute cartoon.