Pinwheel of the Valkries

I know, it's been a while, hasn't it? I'd tell you I was abducted by aliens and probed in ways that you'd never believe in a million hamster years, but that would be a lie. What if I told you a major top-secret government experiment had me at Area 51 for the past week? Nah, that's a lie too. In truth, someone slipped me what is commonly called a Mickey Finn.

Don't ask me where it came from or when I ate it. Near as I can figure it was mixed amongst my yummy food pellets and wheat germ. After lunch last Wednesday, I vaguely remember one of the kids picking me up, but it was kinda in slow motion. At the time I thought it was just a slow kid, but now I think it might have been the vile drug. As a result, this past week has been a blur of tangerine trees and marmalade skies. On the one hand it was kinda cool. There was one day when I thought I could stop time. Then the next day I was sure, and I mean sure, that I had x-ray vision. You'd think that would be cool, but not if I could see all the way to your liver.

When I came to yesterday, the sky moved from a purple haze to sailor's delight. I blinked twice to get my bearings. For a split second I thought I saw TaTa calling me to a great light. I blinked twice again and it turned out to just be one of the kids picking his nose. Drugs are bad.