Chick, Please

You know what my new favorite thing to do is? Every time I hold the door for another pet, who then proceeds to just scuttle though silently, I shout, "You're welcome!" Which is funny, you see, because they didn't bother to say thank you. What am I, a doorman? Not to rudeness, I'm not. He can just wait at the bar. And that's another thing!

Not that I get to go clubbing too often, but when TaTa and I hit Studio 54 I'd like to get my Mai Tai served quickly. There's no reason I should have to hang there, clinging to the edge of the bar with my front paws, waiting a half hour to be acknowledged. I'm sorry... I'm being mean. You club owners with just one bartender must be shocked that the place is so busy. After all, it is 11PM on a Saturday - you guys are usually dead about this time, right? But I know the truth is that it's because I'm a dude.

This chick rabbit hopped up to the bar last weekend all in slow motion, white, fluffy fur in soft light. She had her carrot juice in 20 seconds flat. All she had to do was flutter her eyelashes and sniff with that pink nose. It also really helped that "Oh Yeah" by Yello was thumping in the club. Slick my fur back with some water from your bowl, TaTa, it's time to make my move. I'm sure glad I brushed my teeth today.