Frosty the Snowmole

Do you like ham? Neither do I. It's a salted meat. I've always thought that there must be a very good reason for salted meats, and that's the fact that they just don't taste good naturally. Look at turkey. Delicious, right? Note the absence of salt. I say load on the tryptophan but hold the sodium. What made me think of this? Well, the icebox must have been pretty low on cabbage, because this morning I awoke to chunks of ham in my bowl. I'm sorry, did someone think it would be funny to rearrange the links in the food chain? Tonight I'm replacing my owner's Ritz crackers with wheat germ. Happy snacking, Julio.

Anyway, while I held my nose and choked down what they call food (you savages), I saw a wee-little mole outside my window building a snowman. What fun! I decided to join him and make a new friend in the process. It turns out his name was Chauncey, and while every other mole in the North American continent is long dormant, he makes an annual tradition of building a six inch snowman before burrowing down. Aww, so cute, right? The down side is that the poor little dude is blind (it comes with being a mole), so he does the whole thing by touch. It's just like the blind chick who sculpted Lionel Richie's face in his Hello video (released in 1984, it was the third single from Richie's multi-platinum album Can't Slow Down).

My hamster heart swelled for the dead-eyed guy as my burrowing instinct kicked in. I began to pile up as much snow as I could to help Chauncey with the base of that snowman. I was all into it. I heard him shout what I assume were words of encouragement once or twice, but they kept getting quieter. He must have been in awe of my mile high snow mound. I turned around to see what my new mole friend thought of my efforts. Where'd he go? Oh, well, he must have changed his mind and already started in on his winter slumber. Back inside I went. I can't wait to see him again in the spring. Wow, the stick arms in that snowman sure look lifelike. Nice work, Chauncey.