Workin' Nine to Dive

Did I do something to make God angry? I mean, as if my life wasn't bad enough. My owner took me to his office for the week. And try as I might, I cannot figure out why. True, the nursery school I go to is on break, so I can't stay there. And mom and the chitlins are out of town, so I guess Sanchez is just looking for some male bonding. But what kind of Oscar is he to my Felix anyway?

I can understand why he comes home so bummed everyday. He plopped me down in this gray cube surrounded by (guess what) row after row of other gray cubes. It's odd though. Rather than seeing folks in these cubes, they were all either at the large water dispenser or outside exhaling plumes of delicious looking smoke. At one point, this guy with a stained tie and short sleeve dress shirt (you mean people actually wear those in real life?) came by to chew my owner out over a typo - it should have been "who" instead of "whom". Yeah, I would have told him his parents were first cousins too. By the end of the day even I was drained, and I just had to watch the poor sap. The dude can't even catch a break when he eats at work.

It was like 2:30 and my owner hadn't had a bite because he was crunching on some proposal to save the company. So he finally breaks down and takes a Snickers bar that said "Janice" on it. Holy hot flash, was Janice ticked. Hey, lady, he just saved the company. Give the man a seventy-five cent candy bar! Oh, wait, here comes the girl with the checks. Is that a tear my owner is wiping from his eye?