Feel The Burn

I admit it, I couldn't wait till Christmas for this present. There are only so many infomercials a hamster can take in before he starts to realize he either needs to work on his self confidence, look better or improve his skin tone. I decided to do all three and buy that weight set I'd seen that blonde guy with the pony tail pushing. And to think - before I called I didn't even know they sold 4 ounce weights.

It all started when I accidentally caught myself in the mirror from a side view. At first I thought it was just extra fur. You know, my summer haircut was finally growing in or something. But then, after I got out of the bath one time and the fur was matted down, I still noticed that I didn't manage to maintain my college washboard tummy. What, I never mentioned that I was a dorm room pet before I transferred to domestic life? Anyway, that was when the idea first stuck in my head. Borrowing my owner's credit card and dialing the phone would be no problem. The hard part was when I had to use the computer to make the purchase. Believe it or not, holding the shift key down with one paw while trying to type my name in is no easy task. Seven to ten business days later, my gateway to Stallone-ness was on the front stoop. But the number one lesson I learned from the infomercial was that you always need someone there to watch you work out.

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You don't need a spotter quite as much as you just need somone there to be amazed by how easy the workout is and how in no time at all you look better than Angela Lansbury did in the first season of Murder, She Wrote. I learned that from the infomercial too. I guess he or she could always jump in and help if you popped an O-ring or something, but that never came up. In short, I knew TaTa was my man. He did a great job of gazing in awe alright. In fact, he's often been speechless during my routine. He even puts on the wool cap I bought him so he looked like Mickey from Rocky I and II. I told him to forget Rocky III though. Mickey was just going through the motions by then.